I have been wanting to write (more) about what fuel relationships, and what make them “last in the trust”. You can pretty much saying that everyone who does not have the certainty of a monthly salary (that includes the employees of their own companies, I mean) makes The Network the number one asset. Whether you are selling, developing, growth hacking, looking for investment, deploying capital, you often are the network you have.
This is where the debate becomes interesting: how real is the network you think you can trust?
Is it a power game, or a set of reciprocal trusted relationship you can rely upon?How many friendships without agenda can you count on?
Let’s start with some sanity question we all should ask ourselves:
- when was last time I triggered a connection to actually check on the person itself, and not because there is something I needed from her?
- When was last time I offered help (and actually follow up on that) without been asked for?
- Can I honestly say to have a natural instinct to understand what I can do to help the person I am taking to? “Help” comes in forms of advice, connections, share, or simply choosing to listen (and I am consciously NOT making a difference personal/business here)
- Do I have the intellectual honesty NOT to hold a grudge because the other person has not be as present in your life as I wished for, and only Be grateful for what I am receiving, rather that disappointed for what I have not?
- Have I been clearing the waters and been explicit when something in that relationship I cared for didn’t sound right, or made me uncomfortable, as difficult as the talk was about to be?
There could be other sanity check questions, and it is a challenge to answer YES in every single one of these instances. What I am reasonable certain though, empirically, is that there is no better joy than having no agenda reciprocal relationships, because these are exactly the ones you can also « use » in a non measured way.
If you are in my circle of trust, I am not counting, I am not measuring, not making a distinction between personal or not personal, or link the relationship to quantifiable exchanging favours. I am there for you, whenever.
Solid relationship can only be reciprocal.
In business, there is a flavour of every one of that sanity checking points applying, some more important than others, and the “exchange of proceeds” is reasonable to be more prominent. Building remarkable relationships in business has also a component of selflessness, empathy, generosity, attention, mindfulness that makes all the difference in how reliable your circle of trust is (or at least what you think your circle of trust is).
Trusted relationship are also instinctively felt, not dependent on time, or on any other metrics for that matter. And (as far as I am concerned) will last forever.
Once again, any feedback is welcome here!