Fear versus Certainty (of Missing Out).
This is one of the most difficult things, personally, to deal with. On one side, I would like to say to myself that time has come to be ok with not being everywhere, not jumping on planes every week, not be in the spotlight of a scene or a podcast every other week, and most importantly trying to understand what is enough for the life i desire (not talking money, but life settings here).
I am trying to make sense of different pieces of thoughts, it might be hard to follow but indulge me please.
- you can’t judge anyone’s life, nor pretend to. There is an amount of drama, tears, sickness, anxiety, family troubles and more that you don’t see and certainly is not what is prominent. Before aspiring to anyone’s life (which is something that some of us do, even partially or for a moment) think that you have the opportunity and the duty to build your own masterpiece. This came up in the weirdest way, I made contact with some multi-millionaires club and realised that in a counter-intuitive way and despite whatever “with money is easier” ditto, no one is exempt from the pain he or she can endure.
- there is one person I have in mind, he plays beach volley with me for the past 7 years, with a remarkable energy and an amazing technique, and he’s 54. Works as a Physical education teacher at school, clearly found the love of his life for the past 30 years, and can spend a month with the mobile phone off. His wife is the one in the WhatsApp groups he (eventually?) needs. Extremely kind human, open, spent time to travel (literally) all over the world when younger, introvert with a golden heart. He comes to the beach with three pieces of clothes including the flip flops, and you can see him often exercising at the beach or strolling with his bike. Is he happy? this is not the point. He is living in the present moment. So much that he blames himself for every ball he misses (not many, but you get the point).
- I cannot – often – get hold of my parents. 160 years combined, they are either playing bingo they organise for the older friends at the church recreational club, or playing cards, or strolling in the hills, or watching Netflix (true for mum, more). And the way they end most of the calls we have together is “riposati, e goditela” (rest, and enjoy). What do i want to tell to my 53 years old in 30 years, if i am lucky enough to get there?
Maybe the right way to never miss out is to be all in in everything you do, including the mindfulness of enjoy the slow, the indecisive moments, the troubles, the setbacks.
There is a never ending learning path here, which I am personally dealing with at my own pace. Not easy, I can’t even set myself to stick to write once a week this newsletter, yet I won’t apologise for it. If i did, that would be again a sign of FOMO which I want to run from.